Lost

Today a close friend and coworker came to me for advice. She was in tears after receiving bad news from her best friend. After trying to get pregnant for some time and fertility treatments her friend was finally pregnant. She was cautiously optimistic about the news. However, she began to experience some spotting and was nervous. Earlier this morning, she found out the baby she had been carrying for the past 11 weeks passed away. God, do I hate those words! 14 months after losing Willow, those words are still hard to swallow.

I automatically go back to my feeling of hopelessness when my baby girl died. The fact that we lost her after trying so hard to get pregnant was adding insult to injury. Although, no one should lose a baby. Regardless if they are young, old, fertile, gave a baby up for adoption or had an abortion as a teenager. I'm not saying I am pro choice (I am not saying I am not). What I do know is it is not for me to judge. And I don't believe my God would "punish" someone by killing their baby because of a decision they made years ago.

Through all the suffering and pain I've experienced I still don't know why Willow left me, but I do know what I can do because of her death. I reach out to those who have experienced the loss of a child. Today I shared a few tears with my friend, who was obviously hurt by the bad news. I also shared my experience with her and referred her to an awesome website where I know she will be able to find support. I wish babies didn't die, but since we don't live in a perfect world we should come together and support one another whenever possible.