Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Life Goes On

Is it possible that everyone has moved on except for me? It's as if time has been standing still. There are still those subtle reminders. Things so minuscule, I shouldn't even pay attention to. But they are the elephant in the room for me. I want to move on... I'm ready, but I don't think my heart will allow me.

Yesterday I met with my Ob/Gyn for my follow up. She told me that Willow's genetic testing shows that she was "normal". How could my baby be normal if she is dead and gone? I made an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I'm hoping she can give me some more insight. I don't know what would hurt more... Not knowing what went wrong or knowing there is something wrong with my body (besides the PCOS).

Recently a friend lost her husband of 44 years. She seemed so at peace knowing her husband was with God. I wish I had her strength and faith.

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