Definition

I have been struggling lately with the description of my blog. Since I am officially no longer trying to conceive another child should I omit the part about infertility? Does Willow's loss no longer seem relevant because I was able to conceive another baby? Of course, I would disagree! However, I have a lot of visitors from the Soulcysters.com website, who are struggling with PCOS and infertility. I also have visitors from the Facesofloss.com site that have lost a child and are searching for support, a story similar to theirs. So how should I describe my website to let everyone know they are welcome to read about my struggles? They may not be current roadblocks in my quest to conceive, but they are struggles that will be with me always and have defined me.

He is Here!

Sorry I'm a little late with the announcement, but you can imagine how chaotic our lives have been since the arrival of our beautiful baby boy. I wanted to quickly give you an update on his stats and post a couple of pictures. I will post his birth story later.

Gabriel Maximilian Wardlow
Born 10/15/10 at 12:51 pm
7lbs 8oz, 19 inches
10 perfect fingers and toes, a head full of shiny black hair and a cute button nose!

10 Days (or at least 3)

On October 15th, 2010 (which is also Baby Loss Awareness Day) I will officially be 39 weeks. This means that my Dr can induce labor. So we are hereby requested to report to the hospital by 8am this Friday. I'm feeling a mixed bag of emotions. I'm obviously nervous about the labor and delivery, regardless if this is my 4th delivery. I also HATE needles, especially IVs so I've never had an epidural. But I am anxious to hear, see, smell and touch my baby boy.

I'm also worried that I will be flooded with emotions and memories from my last hospital stay with Willow. I'm trying to stay positive and be strong. Although I will be bringing a new life into this world, I will be saying a prayer for Willow and all the other parents who have lost a child. I hope you will do the same thing.

11 Days

Went to work today and surprised my coworkers. But if I hear "You're still heeeere!" one more time, I swear I might lose it.

12 Days... Eviction Notice Served

Dear Baby, You are hereby notified, that your tenancy is hereby terminated as of October 10, 2010. You are hereby requested to quit, vacate, and deliver therefore to the undersigned on or before October 10, 2010.

This notice to vacate is due to your following breach of tenancy:

...Damage beyond normal wear and tear to property.

13 Days

Tomorrow is 10/10/10. Will have to try some things to induce labor naturally, although I really don't believe in that. I strongly feel the baby will come when he is ready. Despite my desire to be on the local news for delivering a baby on 10/10/10!

14 Days

I can't believe I'm at the 2 week mark. I never expected that I would deliver Baby Boy more than 1 week before my due date, but knowing that I am 4cm dilated has changed my mind (and tested my patience). So as I wait for some strong, steady contractions or spring a leak I have to keep busy. But I'm sick of cleaning my house, folding baby clothes and watching boring t.v. I need some ideas on how to keep my mind off of delivering a baby.

... And we have to finalize Baby Boy's legal name!