If You Can't Beat 'em Join 'em (unless they are the Bears!)

I don't like football. I never did. Not only do I NOT understand what's going on most of the time, I find it incredibly boring. Every Sunday I would grab my credit cards and go shopping while my husband rotted on the couch watching several games in a row. I reminded him that football made me spend money. Then the playoffs would come around. We wouldn't go to church, we wouldn't even leave the house. We would have to plan whole days around game time. It was frustrating.

Then something happened. I think I just gave up. Maybe I got caught up in all the hoopla. The Packers are in the playoffs and I've actually watched a few games from beginning to end. I may have talked through most of the games. Asked many questions, commented on sweaty butts, funny names and God awful uniform color combination's. But it's a start, right? I think my husband is happy just to be able to skip a fun-filled Sunday at the Art Museum or shopping for pacifier clips and coloring books at Target. Although he doesn't need to fret. There are two more game days left and then he belongs to me!

Lost

Today a close friend and coworker came to me for advice. She was in tears after receiving bad news from her best friend. After trying to get pregnant for some time and fertility treatments her friend was finally pregnant. She was cautiously optimistic about the news. However, she began to experience some spotting and was nervous. Earlier this morning, she found out the baby she had been carrying for the past 11 weeks passed away. God, do I hate those words! 14 months after losing Willow, those words are still hard to swallow.

I automatically go back to my feeling of hopelessness when my baby girl died. The fact that we lost her after trying so hard to get pregnant was adding insult to injury. Although, no one should lose a baby. Regardless if they are young, old, fertile, gave a baby up for adoption or had an abortion as a teenager. I'm not saying I am pro choice (I am not saying I am not). What I do know is it is not for me to judge. And I don't believe my God would "punish" someone by killing their baby because of a decision they made years ago.

Through all the suffering and pain I've experienced I still don't know why Willow left me, but I do know what I can do because of her death. I reach out to those who have experienced the loss of a child. Today I shared a few tears with my friend, who was obviously hurt by the bad news. I also shared my experience with her and referred her to an awesome website where I know she will be able to find support. I wish babies didn't die, but since we don't live in a perfect world we should come together and support one another whenever possible.

Balancing Act

Work-Life Balance. It's a term they use a lot at work. I have to admit, I am very lucky to work for such a family-friendly corporation. That is definitely a rarity these days as corporations become greedier (often at the expense of their employees). However, as I approached the end of my first week back after Maternity Leave I can't help but think I failed miserably at balancing my work life and my home life. Each day this week looked something like this:

5:00-5:15 Wake up/ shower (takes me 45 minutes to dress/ hair/ makeup)
5:30 Will wakes up Olivia, dresses her (she is often still asleep during this task)
6:00 Will feeds Gabriel/ Dresses him (he often waits to puke until after he gets his clothes on and before he gets a bib)
6:00-6:30 Olivia eats breakfast while I "do" her hair, car is warmed up, bottles are made, coats on, Gabriel is put in his car seat (he usually vomits again, warranting a fresh bib)
6:35-7:00 Travel time to work
7:00-7:15 Drop kids off in their rooms, which are on OPPOSITE wings of the daycare!
7:15 Turn on my computer at my desk... work... work... email... request... email... work... work... FIRE DRILL... email... work... lunch... work... you get the point.
4:30-4:55 Head downstairs to pick up kids, pack up the 50 pictures Olivia drew that day, load kids into COLD car (I sure would love a car starter)
5:00-5:30 Commute home, unless it snows. Then I can tack on an additional 15-30 minutes to my commute.
5:30 Home. Gabriel is usually crying at this point. I have to give him his Acid Reflux medicine, then he has to wait 20 minutes to eat.
5:30-7:30 Feed baby, answer Olivia's MANY questions, make dinner, more questions, clean spit up, burn dinner, respond to Olivia's MANY requests (juice, chocolate milk, cartoons, apples... peeled and cut of course, candy, etc...), change diapers, wipe butts, eat dinner, bath time.
7:30 Gabriel's bedtime.
7:30-8:00 Read Olivia 3 books. Bedtime. (This is when Will gets home).
8:00 I go to sleep, wake up a few times to feed a hungry baby and start it all over again the next day!

I'm exhausted just typing this. I feel horrible spending so little time with my children every evening. And don't get me started about how many hours Will works every week. But, I actually enjoy my job. I like to go to work and interact with adults, see my friends, have lunch uninterrupted. I don't get puked on at work and luckily I never have to clean my boss' butt! One of the benefits of my position is that I do get to leave at noon on Fridays! Which gives me extra time with the kids during the weekend. I know it won't always be this insane. One day it will get easier. I'm hoping, anyway.

Merry Christmas

What a year it has been! I can't believe 2010 is coming to a close. 2011 holds many possibilities. I may be returning to school. Will is going back to school... Terrell is graduating from high school and Olivia will begin school for the first time. Gabriel will just start daycare in 2011 and Will and I will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary. I have many things to be thankful for, including Gabriel... our little messenger. I want to thank all that have stopped by to read my blog and share my ups and downs, the good and the bad, the struggles and the triumphs. Here's to a wonderful and joyous 2011 for each and everyone of us!!

2 Month Update; Milk Allergy, Eczema, Relux and Asthma

G had his 2 month check up today with Dr. T. He's weighing in at 11 lbs, 6 oz and is 23 inches. This puts him in the 50th percentile (Olivia is in the 90th percentile for height). He's just a little peanut. He barely fits his 3 month clothes. In fact he is still wearing some newborn outfits!

Lately G has been very cranky due to his Acid Reflux. It's hard to watch helplessly while my child is in pain. All I can do is hold him. Although he is often crying at the top of his lungs Olivia never becomes impatient. She doesn't get upset when his crying drowns out her favorite Nick Jr. show. Or if his screams interrupt a very important conversation about something that happened in daycare, her favorite songs or what Santa will bring her. Lately, she has been telling me G is crying because his tummy still hurts. I can't help but wonder there may be a special connection between them.

Hopefully, G's dosage increase will help ease his pain. The Dr. says a weight increase as little as 1 pound can affect his medication. So as he grows, his medication dosage will have to be increased. Dr. T also thinks his eczema is a sign of asthma. We're thinking G will take after his Daddy. Allergies, sensitive skin and asthma. We will have to wait and see.

Due to G's reflux the Dr. wants him to start oatmeal cereal mixed with fruits and veggies that begin with "P". Peaches, pears, plums, peas, etc. The "P" foods will help with the chronic constipation that soybeans cause. The heaviness of the solid foods are supposed to help keep things contained in his stomach and keep the reflux at bay. I don't want to ask what could be next, but I'm hoping to have a healthy and happy baby in the New Year!

Snip! Snip!

I thought I would continue the subject of penises. But today I'm thinking about Will's. It's been 6 weeks since I gave birth to Gabriel and now it's time to decide on our method of birth control. It seems so crazy that we went from worrying about trying to get pregnant to worrying about preventing pregnancy. We tried many years to get pregnant with Olivia. We used fertility treatment to get pregnant with Willow and who would have thought that 7 1/2 weeks after we lost our baby girl, that we would have a surprise pregnancy... Gabriel! PCOS can be unpredictable, so it's important that we cover our basis. With our luck we would conceive natural triplets or something crazy.

I'm a horrible pill taker. I always forget. I never finish prescription antibiotics. I was even terrible about taking my prenatal vitamins. So a birth control pill would be a very bad option for me. So Will decided he will get a vasectomy. That's right! His idea. I know there are other options out there, but we can't afford another baby. But, something inside me feels a little sad knowing this will be my last baby. My last pregnancy. My last chance to nurture a newborn! A vasectomy is so final. I asked Will if he was even a little bit concerned with pursuing this. Without hesitation he exclaimed, "No!". Well, besides, the (minor) surgery itself.

I know this is it for us. Our family is as complete as it will ever be (sans Willow). I just have to try and savor every day with Gabriel, Olivia and Terrell. They grow up so fast and before I know it they will be adults having children of their own!

With or Without?

I've been a mother for 17 years, so I am no stranger to unsolicited parenting advice. But, this takes the cake! Recently, while changing my son's diaper I was approached by a curious elderly lady. She then gave me a strange look and commented on his uncircumcised penis. I ignored her rude comment not because I wasn't ready for a debate, but I was only trying to not get poop on my fingers at that very moment. Then it happened last week at a friend's house. I peeled the tape back on my son's disposable diaper and my friend announces, "Look at his Puerto Rican Penis!" And again yesterday I was asked why I did not circumcise Gabriel's penis. Which prompts me to ask, "Why should I?"

When my first son was born I did not have him circumcised. The thought of him being in pain was reason enough. There is nothing anyone can say to me that would prove babies don't feel the skin being ripped from their genitals. I may be exaggerating because I know medical advancements have reduced the amount of pain felt during this procedure, but any pain is too much pain. So there was nothing to think about. I knew I would not do it to him. But when I found out we were having a boy this time, I knew there would be a debate. Will wanted Gabriel circumcised, like him. I debated, I showed him videos online, I huffed and puffed but he would not agree. He thought Gabriel should look like his daddy. Finally I gave in, only saying I would not change a single diaper for the first 2 weeks of his life while his poor little pee pee healed! But I continued to research circumcision.

I searched online... debated over lunch with coworkers... spoke with my Dr... interrogated my pediatrician and ObGyn. I inquired about their own children. There was no medical evidence proving it should be done, but nothing saying that it can't. Which led me to believe that this was not a medical issue, but rather a one based on presentation. I decided to ask T how he felt about my decision to not have him circumcised. First of all, this was going to be a sensitive subject. So I had to tread lightly. Seems like teenage boys don't care to talk about their penises with their mothers. (If only he knew I was blogging about it too). I was surprised to learn he didn't mind his penis. He was not teased in school or embarrassed at the gym. I asked him what he thought about having Gabriel circumcised and he thought I shouldn't do it.

That conversation gave me more ammunition. I was ready to argue my points with my husband and prove him wrong. Then something happened. My husband gave in. Suddenly he no longer "cared". So it was settled. Gabriel would remain intact. (you can thank me later Gabriel!)

I personally have never slept with a man who was intact. And I've only seen an uncircumcised penis on a baby. I hear many women talk about how "gross" or "weird" it is. I recently saw an episode of Mario Lopez where he and his wife debated about circumcising their unborn baby. She even admitted she was weirded out by her own husband's penis. This made me curious about other celebrities who may not have been circumcised and I was (somewhat) surprised there is an entire website dedicated to this very subject. After finding a few of my celebrity crushes on the list like Will Smith, Paul Walker and Jay Hernandez, I thought to myself, "Knowing their circumcision status doesn't change the fantasy for me". So if some woman fell in love with my son, I'm sure she would care less if his penis still had a "turtleneck"!